2014 will not be a year that I miss. Overall, it was pretty hard on me. But in the end, it shaped me into an entirely different woman than I was walking into it. And for that I am eternally grateful. For all the pain, heartache, trials and raw vulnerability it had, the rewards of walking through them have made me a different person. A better person. Someone who sees the world and every moment of each day with a completely new set of eyes. I wouldn't trade my journey for anything in the world.
As I say "peace out" to 2014, I also embrace whatever 2015 has in store for me. There will be ups, there will be downs, but if this year has taught me anything it is that God really doesn't give me more than I can handle. Even when it feels unbearable he is never out of reach. He is a good Father who never lets me out of site and doesn't let me wander too far off.
While the world is out partying tonight, I will be home relaxing. Maybe even reflecting. With gratefulness in my heart I will be celebrating my singlehood tonight. I really do love my life and where God has me. I genuinely could not wish for anything more than what I have right now. I am content, yet expectant. Settled, yet ready for whatever adventure may lie ahead.
Bring it, 2015.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Budget
One of the bonus aspects of living minimally is that it frees up space in the budget. Originally I'll admit that I scoffed at this fact. Seeing as I rarely overspend, how could cutting back on *that* have any direct effect on my budget?
I sat down last night with one of the leaders in the local church I attend. Pulling out my binder full of bills, my new collection letter (thank you, Aurora Medical, for that mistake), and my Dave Ramsey budgeting sheets, I poured open all of my finances to a fresh pair of eyes. People found it odd that I'd be willing to divulge such personal and private information to someone else, but as a single person I find the input of select people to be very beneficial and healthy.
In the end, I went home and realized that more money is found in my budget than I knew was there. With an aim to pay off that collections crap it actually seems attainable! And it all boils down to the extra money that went...somewhere. Ethereal. While I may not have been buying name brand bags and shoes, that money was still going somewhere. Movie rentals, random odds-n-ends, articles of clothing or accessories - it all went somewhere. Now, it has an availability and a focus.
It's all very exciting!
I sat down last night with one of the leaders in the local church I attend. Pulling out my binder full of bills, my new collection letter (thank you, Aurora Medical, for that mistake), and my Dave Ramsey budgeting sheets, I poured open all of my finances to a fresh pair of eyes. People found it odd that I'd be willing to divulge such personal and private information to someone else, but as a single person I find the input of select people to be very beneficial and healthy.
In the end, I went home and realized that more money is found in my budget than I knew was there. With an aim to pay off that collections crap it actually seems attainable! And it all boils down to the extra money that went...somewhere. Ethereal. While I may not have been buying name brand bags and shoes, that money was still going somewhere. Movie rentals, random odds-n-ends, articles of clothing or accessories - it all went somewhere. Now, it has an availability and a focus.
It's all very exciting!
Monday, December 29, 2014
Do Your Boobs Hang Low?
The holidays are a special time for countless reasons. From the end of October through the start of the New Year it is a whirlwind time. And right there in the midst of it all is my birthday. My birthday; the day this all began. The day that I opened a card with $25 in it and knew, "Crap. I can't buy myself anything!"
This way of not-spending is such a challenge to me right now. By nature I don't buy myself a lot of "stuff" anyway, but somehow *knowing* that I can't makes it so much worse! It's like fasting. Most of us have fasted for some reason or another. Whether it's for spiritual reasons or just in preparation for a medical test of some sort, we've pretty much all done it. And in the moment, it's hell. It's like Elaine in Seinfeld when she loses her mind waiting for a test with no food in her system. That's how it feels. When, in reality, we go without food a lot in life and never realize it! I could spend a busy Saturday completely distracted and not eating and never even care. But take away my option to eat? Well, that changes the game entirely! Taking away my option to spend feels the same way.
So fast-forward to Christmas Day and the $40 check that I received from my Dad. It was super generous and I will definitely put it to use. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't immediately add up $65 now, waiting till next year to spend! What a hard thing to do; wait. Wait almost a year to get what could-be immediate gratification. I mean, I could make you a list of dvds and books that I want. There are definitely a few cds I could toss on that list as well! *sigh*
For Christmas my sister's boyfriend bought her one of those heaters that looks like a fireplace. It is a really fancy one that doubles as an entertainment stand and can hold movies and stuff. It came in 900 pieces. I set out to help her boyfriend assemble that bad boy - which we did. Took us a few hours, but we did. And it looks amazing, might I add.
Yet somehow, knee deep in screws, boards, plastic bits and cardboard, all of the excitement of assembling her present faded. As I leaned in to tighten an awkward screw, it happened. That moment that happens seemingly time and time again for larger-chested women. My underwire snapped. It snapped.
Somewhere, far off in the distance; beyond the Christmas carols and lack of snow, Another One Bites the Dust could faintly be heard echoing through the night air.
Only 5 days in and my bra breaks. Greaaaaat.
This way of not-spending is such a challenge to me right now. By nature I don't buy myself a lot of "stuff" anyway, but somehow *knowing* that I can't makes it so much worse! It's like fasting. Most of us have fasted for some reason or another. Whether it's for spiritual reasons or just in preparation for a medical test of some sort, we've pretty much all done it. And in the moment, it's hell. It's like Elaine in Seinfeld when she loses her mind waiting for a test with no food in her system. That's how it feels. When, in reality, we go without food a lot in life and never realize it! I could spend a busy Saturday completely distracted and not eating and never even care. But take away my option to eat? Well, that changes the game entirely! Taking away my option to spend feels the same way.
So fast-forward to Christmas Day and the $40 check that I received from my Dad. It was super generous and I will definitely put it to use. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't immediately add up $65 now, waiting till next year to spend! What a hard thing to do; wait. Wait almost a year to get what could-be immediate gratification. I mean, I could make you a list of dvds and books that I want. There are definitely a few cds I could toss on that list as well! *sigh*
For Christmas my sister's boyfriend bought her one of those heaters that looks like a fireplace. It is a really fancy one that doubles as an entertainment stand and can hold movies and stuff. It came in 900 pieces. I set out to help her boyfriend assemble that bad boy - which we did. Took us a few hours, but we did. And it looks amazing, might I add.
Yet somehow, knee deep in screws, boards, plastic bits and cardboard, all of the excitement of assembling her present faded. As I leaned in to tighten an awkward screw, it happened. That moment that happens seemingly time and time again for larger-chested women. My underwire snapped. It snapped.
Somewhere, far off in the distance; beyond the Christmas carols and lack of snow, Another One Bites the Dust could faintly be heard echoing through the night air.
Only 5 days in and my bra breaks. Greaaaaat.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
The Rules
While everyone else plans their New Years Resolutions I, typically, roll my eyes. I've never been one to jump on bandwagons. In fact, I'm quite the contrary, I often find myself jumping *off* of them. I'm the girl who thinks things are cool when they aren't. And if they become cool, well, then I don't usually like them anymore. Basically, I make no sense to most people.
Resolutions are great for the people who stick to them. For me, I feel like they are often just a set-up for failure. I fail enough on my own so I don't feel the added need for setting up another thing to fail at is really a good idea for myself. I already know I'm human!
Late last Monday night I found myself standing in the brand new office that my dear friend had built in her house. The radiance of her smile was contagious as she unveiled her hard work to me. She'd sanded the floors and patched and painted the walls. Her husband had built the desk, chair and couch and was preparing to assemble some shelving while pictures were strewn about waiting to be placed in their frames. Other than these items the room was bare. Fresh white walls and bare exposed wooden floorboards. I fell in love.
I felt my heart move. I felt the still small voice inside of me beckoning me to reassess my own way of life. My friend had spent a long time, prior to this night, living simplistically. Going months without shopping for "things" for herself. And finally, after all of that, the joy on her face just to have a small workspace to call her own, with just a few new items, was like Christmas. She was content and so blessed.
I want that. I need that. And I knew that God wanted to teach me through it.
Often times I dismiss what I know to be a prompting to do something in life. This year has been a time of growing up in that way - choosing to listen to those nudges. As a result, I made a plan. One year. No new "stuff". Sounds romantic doesn't it? No. No it doesn't. It sounds terrifying. But sometimes it's good to do something that terrifies you.
My rules
1. No new cloths, accessories or shoes, unless their is a genuine need that cannot be filled (borrowed etc.) elsewhere.
2. No new dvds, movies, workout videos, or games. Renting or borrowing is the way to go.
3. No paid activities. Road trips and gas station snacks are one things, but no "gift shop" items allowed. No concert tickets, museum trips, craft fairs, etc. Saturday matinee movies are pretty much it.
4. No new cosmetics. Use up what you have and then go without. Necessities.
5. No new home/garden wares. Required objects will be sourced locally and always second-hand or through trades with friends etc.
6. Projects: If I want to do a project that is for myself, I must source my materials second-hand, barter, borrow or salvage.
7. Exceptions: Item's for my friend's wedding this Summer (that I'm in), my work vacation (if I take it this year), house repairs (i.e. patching and painting my bedroom walls) and Sunday School craft supplies.
There you have it. My year, as of December 21, 2014. Which still makes it fair to say that this is not a resolution for New Years.
Wish me luck. I'm really going to need it!
Resolutions are great for the people who stick to them. For me, I feel like they are often just a set-up for failure. I fail enough on my own so I don't feel the added need for setting up another thing to fail at is really a good idea for myself. I already know I'm human!
Late last Monday night I found myself standing in the brand new office that my dear friend had built in her house. The radiance of her smile was contagious as she unveiled her hard work to me. She'd sanded the floors and patched and painted the walls. Her husband had built the desk, chair and couch and was preparing to assemble some shelving while pictures were strewn about waiting to be placed in their frames. Other than these items the room was bare. Fresh white walls and bare exposed wooden floorboards. I fell in love.
I felt my heart move. I felt the still small voice inside of me beckoning me to reassess my own way of life. My friend had spent a long time, prior to this night, living simplistically. Going months without shopping for "things" for herself. And finally, after all of that, the joy on her face just to have a small workspace to call her own, with just a few new items, was like Christmas. She was content and so blessed.
I want that. I need that. And I knew that God wanted to teach me through it.
Often times I dismiss what I know to be a prompting to do something in life. This year has been a time of growing up in that way - choosing to listen to those nudges. As a result, I made a plan. One year. No new "stuff". Sounds romantic doesn't it? No. No it doesn't. It sounds terrifying. But sometimes it's good to do something that terrifies you.
My rules
1. No new cloths, accessories or shoes, unless their is a genuine need that cannot be filled (borrowed etc.) elsewhere.
2. No new dvds, movies, workout videos, or games. Renting or borrowing is the way to go.
3. No paid activities. Road trips and gas station snacks are one things, but no "gift shop" items allowed. No concert tickets, museum trips, craft fairs, etc. Saturday matinee movies are pretty much it.
4. No new cosmetics. Use up what you have and then go without. Necessities.
5. No new home/garden wares. Required objects will be sourced locally and always second-hand or through trades with friends etc.
6. Projects: If I want to do a project that is for myself, I must source my materials second-hand, barter, borrow or salvage.
7. Exceptions: Item's for my friend's wedding this Summer (that I'm in), my work vacation (if I take it this year), house repairs (i.e. patching and painting my bedroom walls) and Sunday School craft supplies.
There you have it. My year, as of December 21, 2014. Which still makes it fair to say that this is not a resolution for New Years.
Wish me luck. I'm really going to need it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)